Saturday, December 24, 2005

A HinJew Christmas

My sister and I have a holiday tradition.  On Christmas Eve or Christmas Day (or often both) we'll call each other and have the following conversation:  "Aren't you so bored?"  "Oh my God, I am SO bored!"  As non-Christians on Christmas, we don't feel left out, but we do love to wallow in how there's nothing for us to do.  As we both live in large cities now, there are of course, many things for us to do, but this tradition hearkens back to our upbringing in Oil City, Pennsylvania where the population was scant and we were two of maybe four Jewish kids in our entire school system.  There was NOTHING for us to do on Christmas.  One year, our local Pizza Hut held a Christmas Eve buffet and we decided to go.  We figured we'd be the only people there, so imagine our surprise when there was a line out the door.  My mother was outraged.  "What is wrong with these people?  Why aren't they home with their families celebrating?  Who the hell comes to Pizza Hut for Christmas?"  We continued that ritual for many years afterwards: the pizza, the salad bar, the righteous indignation. 

While I know many more Jewish people these days, most of them are in mixed families and generally Christmas is celebrated on some level.  I still have conversations with people who can't grasp the fact that we don't celebrate Christmas at all.  "But you still do Santa, right?"    Uh, no.  Their gaze lingers on me for an extra second and I know they are debating whether Social Services needs to be informed.  I know many people see Christmas as a mostly secular holiday.  Call me a stickler, but if it's got Christ's name right in the title, I think it's best reserved for Christians.  I'm sure not long ago there were similar debates: "Take back that candy...he was SAINT Valentine, for God's sake."   Oh well, turns out eggnog is a tougher sell than chocolate. 

As we don't celebrate Christmas, Ritu always volunteers to work.  This generally guarantees him time off at Thanksgiving and New Year's.  And sure, there are things the kids and I could go out and do, but I like having the excuse of Christmas to stay in and relax.  I blame the last minute crowds or tell the kids that everythingis closed and we hole up at home.  Tonight after dinner, we all sat happily in the kitchen with Christmas music playing on the radio. (I have a great fondness for Christmas music.  I blame my mother who can both harmonize Oh Come All Ye Faithful AND sing it in Latin.)  I was knitting and the children were working quietly at various art projects.  It was just like a Norman Rockwell scene.  You know, had he painted HinJews not celebrating Christmas. 

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Nothing Says Stay-At-Home Mom Like....

.....realizing belatedly that the whole time I was meeting with the nice man about refinishing our wood floors I had two large Winnie The Pooh stickers affixed to the front of my sweatshirt.  <sigh> 

Monday, December 19, 2005

Snow Day

Here in the Willamette Valley, we have two basic seasons.  Sunny and dry (which lasts from July through September) and rainy (which spans the other 9 months).  The rainy season comes with a variety of temperature ranging from hot and steamy to cold and clammy.  Usually in the winter months, the temperature hovers in the low 40s.  This makes true winter weather a huge event here.  For days, there has been talk of an ice storm.  General consensus was a slight chance of freezing rain around 6 PM with a definite chance closer to midnight.  The children had plans to go downtown for a 5 PM performance of The Nutcracker with my uncle.  I considered waiting til they left to run to the grocery store, but ultimately decided to go at 9 AM before Ritu left for work.  The triple whammy of Sunday morning, pre-Christmas week, and storm anticipation left the grocery store grid-locked.  As I was sailing through sans-children, I found it amusing, particularly the men standing around looking dazed, clutching grocery lists.  A quick check of my cart confirmed my plan to snack the children through the bad weather.  Popcorn?  Check.  Four boxes of orange jello?  Check.  (Some people make holiday sugar cookies.  We made jello jigglers and cut them out with Chanukah cookie cutters.  My holiday spirit is waning just a tad this year.)  I stared long and hard at the Poptarts, but ultimately resisted.

At 1:00 David was up the street at a friend's house and Juliana was in the shower.  I'd made arrangements for my uncle to pick them up at 4.  Just then I heard a light clattering on the window.  Sure enough, the freezing rain had started.  Only it wasn't freezing rain at all.  After a few minutes, it turned to snow.  So, the small amount of freezing rain slated to start at 6 PM evolved into snow at 1 PM that lasted for about three straight hours.  I don't think it's snowed here in 2 years.  Personally, I love the snow.  I especially love that it only happens every 2 years.  But while it's here, I am absolutely delighted by it.  I love how it looks swirling through the air and I love the soft scratchy sound it makes when it lands on the hydrangea.

Juliana and I immediately went outside.  She ran around playing while I filled all the birdfeeders and moved the hummingbird feeder to the Inclement Weather Hummingbird Feeder Spot. (You have no idea the stress I am under to preserve the local hummingbird population when it snows.) 

But now, do you see the problem? After a slew of back and forth phone calls, the plans for the Nutcracker were dashed.  My few precious hours of peace, quiet and alone-time had evaporated.  The only conclusion was that Mother Nature had personally conspired against me.  (As my friend Donyal said, "You'd think a Mother would understand!")

The good news was that Ritu got to leave work early.  The roads here were awful, despite the fact that only about a scant 1/2 inch of snow had accumulated.  Here in the land of tree-huggers, they won't salt the roads as it gets into the runoff water and affects the salmon population.  Instead we have like, 3 guys and a bucket of sand working to make the roads passable.  What normally takes 15 minutes to drive took him  over an hour and he was forced to ditch his car at the bottom of the neighborhood and walk the last half mile home. 

Last night there were more dire warnings of the second wave of freezing rain headed our way.  We woke this morning to temperatures above freezing and regular ol' rain falling.  A bit anti-climactic for sure.  But the jello jigglers turned out well.  Just wish I'd had some vodka.

Friday, December 16, 2005

The Taj Mahal

Wednesday morning we left the hotel at 7:30 to see the Taj Mahal.  (Here's a super quick history of the Taj Mahal.)  We wanted to beat both the crowds and the heat.  We arrived at the south entrance and met up with Papu so he could talk to somebody he knew and get us in free.  (Now, I don't want to say that Indians are cheap, but the admission was only $5 per person and kids under 15 were free.  Indian nationals only pay 10 rupees which is like 25 cents.)  The Taj Mahal is right in the middle of things.  Maybe someplace else is a large entrance that accommodates tour buses and things like that, but I didn't see it.  To get to this entrance we drove down a narrow,  regular street and just stopped at the gate. Here's a pic of the way we came down.  The red archway in the distance is the entrance.

There is a security line before you can enter.  Men go through one line and there is a separate one for women where a female attendant searches your bag and pats you down.  You can take very little in with you, both for security reasons and to cut down on littering.  Once you proceed through the gate, you are in a an area of grounds that are intersected by walkways and bordered by red sandstone buildings which used to serve as guest houses for visiting dignitaties.   At this point, the Taj Mahal is not yet in view.  There is still one more gate through which to travel.  Here is the view from the entrance looking towards the final gate.

As you approach the gate, suddenly, there through the archway, completely centered in the distance is the Taj Mahal.  There air is hazy and the effect is that the Taj floats before you like a dream or a mirage.  The contrast of the gleaming white marble and the red stone buildings is stunning.  It's almost surreal to see it hovering in the distance.  No matter how many pictures you've seen of it, they don't do it justice. 

The Taj is surrounded by expansive grounds.  Everything is symmetrical:  a gate to the west and a matching one to the east.  Lawns, fountains, and red sandstone walkways are laid out in perfect precision.  To me, (not surprisingly) the effect of all the symmetry is a sense of extreme peacefulness. 

On the building itself, the designs are made with inlaid stones and gems.  Our guide showd us how, when the sun glints off the edge, the stones sparkle like glass.  Apparently the sight under a full moon is something to behold.  You can go inside the building and see the top of the tomb.  The sun only filters in there, but the guide took a penlight and held it flush against the marble.  He slowly slid it down across the wall and when the light hit the inlaid designs, they glowed like fire.  I think I could've stood there all day watching that.

Here's a family portrait.  (Yes, we're all wearing Michigan clothes.  Wanna make something of it?  We're hoping to submit the pic to the alumni magazine.)

The Taj Mahal is only a few blocks away from where my mother-in-law grew up and she told of walking through the grounds on her way to school.  Often in the evenings, her family would come and picnic on the lawns.  Now, her family home has been leased to the government and the military guards who staff the Taj use it as living quarters.  We walked the few blocks to her house and were able to go inside.  It's three stories, built around a courtyard.  When it was first built, it was the tallest building in the area.  Ritu said that when he was little and came to India, he knew that if he got lost, all he had to do was say his Grandfather's name and someone would bring him straight home.  Although many building have been built in the area since then, you can still see the Taj in the distance from the rooftop. 

Fabric Shopping Pics

 Courtesy of Becky and her excellent photography skills, here are a few pictures from our adventures in fabric shopping. 

 

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Back to India

It's just shy of a week since our return, and this is the first coherent, semi-productive day I've had.  David started with the stomach thing on Friday, but we've both now recovered.  This week, going through the motions, I've felt like a ghost hovering between two worlds: neither traveling nor fully home.  Like having a baby or moving, I'm going to need some time and distance from our trip (and it's recovery) to feel like it was something I'd do again. I have no doubt that I'll feel that way eventually, but right now I feel like I never want to travel anywhere again. 

All right, let's head back to India.  Metaphorically, of course.  Didn't I just say I wasn't going anywhere?  I'm going to use my journal to catch up on the days I missed when I was sick and without computer access.  Our third day there, we woke up for the day at 2:15 AM.  You can imagine the joy I felt.  We tried for a bit to get back to sleep, but it was a no-go.  By 5 AM the kids were up and doing homework.  After breakfast, David, Juliana, and I went wandering around the grounds and ended up back at the playground.  As the children played on the equipment, I noticed a monkey on the wall that bordered the playground.  It was a pretty good-sized monkey.  It was one of these, which I think is a macaque. Then I noticed another one.  Then a third.  Now, being a mother, my radar is always fine-tuned for danger.  I'd heard a lot of barking dogs (India has a zillion stray dogs) and had already determined that, if need be, we could escape wild packs of them by clambering to the top of the jungle gym.  Somehow I doubted this plan would work to save us from rabid, attacking macaques.  They're called MONKEY BARS for God's sake.  Not being familiar with monkey etiquette, I casually retrieved the children and eased us back towards the hotel without incident.

Mid-morning we went to Sikandra.  Despite the fact that Sarah had to translate the tour guide's Englishinto, well, English, it was an interesting visit.  The kids particularly liked the acoustically perfect archways.  Two people facing the wall in opposite corners can talk in a whisper and still hear each other.  If you saw pictures of Juliana standing like a dunce in a corner, that's what she was doing.  Hey!  I figured out how to add a picture!

 

Thursday, December 8, 2005

I'm Ready for my Psychotic Break, Mr. DeMille

Everyone was up at 3:30 AM again today.  I will say the children played together very nicely for the FIVE FREAKING HOURS before school started.  I'm so tired I could keel over.  Plus, my stomach is acting up.  (Ok, washing down the pepto-bismol with hot coffee probably wasn't my best move, but how many sacrifices can one person make?)  Also, my skin is a wreck, I look like hell, and a fairly good handful of hair came out when I was shampooing this morning.  I thought maybe I'd brought home a parasite from India (silver lining: wasting away for 10 pounds or so) but at school pick-up this afternoon, I had it confirmed that some kind of stomach bug is going around.  Oh goody!  Something contagious!!  Maybe tomorrow's pre-dawn waking will be accompanied by a chorus of vomit. 

Juliana fell asleep at 4:30.  I'm letting her nap for an hour, then I'll wake her up and try to keep her conscious til a decent bedtime.  In our family, we call this tough love.  And it usually involves a lot of crying.  I bet Juliana will cry too. 

Ritu gets home tonight.  That is a very good thing.  I'm working hard to look past the fact that he'll be on an entirely different recovery schedule.  And that he'll be lugging with him a giant suitcase full of dirty laundry.

Ahhhhh, cyber bitching....it does a body good.

Wednesday, December 7, 2005

Re-Entry

This re-entry into our "real life" sucks.  The time change in India is 13 1/2 hours, so basically our days and nights are reversed..  We got home around 2:30 PM on Monday.  This was after leaving Agra at 11 AM on Sunday (11 PM Saturday night, Pacific Time) and driving 5 hours to New Delhi.  In Delhi, we visited two family member's houses, where, despite our protests,  they stuffed us full of food (I'll save a description of Indian Hospitality for a separate entry).  Just what you want before a long flight, right?  We went flying out of the second house late (again, thanks to Indian Hospitality) to the airport and arrived there around 8:30 PM.   Our flight was scheduled for 11:45 PM.  We finally got checked in and through security around 10 PM.  At this point, we had to say goodbye to Ritu who was flying to the Philippines.  Cue two tired, heartbroken crying children.  Thankfully, my in-laws, Sarah and Becky were all on the flight to Newark with us.  Juliana fell asleep on my lap long before we boarded and when they made the pre-boarding announcement, I picked her up and shoved my way through a large throng of passengers surrounding the gate.  It may have been my proudest moment of the whole trip..  The rest of our group trailed behind me with our carry-on luggage.

The flight was 16 hours long and we arrived in Newark at about 4:30 AM Eastern Time.  My in-laws helped me gather my luggage and get through customs.  I don't know how I could've done it without them.  After that, we went our separate ways and the kids and I settled in for a 5 hour layover.  Our flignt left on time at 10 AM and we arrived at 1 PM Pacific Time after a 6 hour flight.  Both kids fell asleep on that flight, so I had to wake them up when we landed.  Not good.  David sleeps like the dead and Juliana woke up with a clogged ear which lead to a long crying jag. 

When we got back to the house, my mom was blessedly here and she'd filled my fridge with groceries and home-cooked food.  At 4:00, Juliana started asking to go to bed, but I made them stay up as long as I could, which was 5:30.  I was dead asleep myself by 7 PM.  I woke up at 3:30 AM and saw that David was already awake.  He was hungry, so we went downstairs to eat.  Juliana woke around 4:15. <yawn>

David weighed himself that morning and I found that he'd lost 5 pounds on the trip.  That boy does not have 5 pounds to lose. While we were traveling, he was eating an OK breakfast at the hotel, then spent the rest of each day on the Survivor India diet: bowls of plain rice.  I had brought plenty of snacks with me, and those helped to sustain him.  I''m planning to start an I.V. of alfredo sauce to get him back to fighting weight.

David did go to school yesterday and lasted all day, even though when I checked on him at lunchtime, his eyes weren't quite focusing in the same direction.  I managed to keep everyone awake until 6:00 last night, despite Juliana asking to go to bed from 4:30 on.  I crashed at 7:30 but Juliana woke me up just before midnight.  She and I were awake for hours.  She finally went back to sleep at 2:30 and I laid there for awhile in a no-sleep panic.  I can deal with a lot of things, but sleep-deprivation is not one of them.  It's a main reason why I thank God each and every day that I am done with babies.  Not sleeping leaves me headachy, teary-eyed, and with that weird fizzy feeling at the top of my stomach.  Not to mention that filter of utter doom and despair through which I see my entire life.  Eventually I fell back asleep and woke up around 7 AM.  I feel about 60% human today, which I guess is a step in the right direction.

 

Monday, December 5, 2005

Home!

After 26 hours of traveling we are home.  We're blindingly, staggeringly tired but home safe and sound.  I see I have 700 emails!  I will do my best to get to those and to post some more about the days I missed on the trip.

The last batch of pictures are on Ritu's computer and he is currently in the Philippines, but he should be able to get them to snapfish from there.  Thanks for all the great feedback, you guys!

Friday, December 2, 2005

The Engagement Party

Last night was Deepu's engagement party.  It started at 8 PM, so we brought the kids back to the hotel at 5 and tried to nap them first.  When that didn't work, we ordered them Pepsi with their room service chicken nuggets.  We all got dressed in Indian clothes.  Juliana looked adorable in a pink and blue lengha (long skirt, short-sleeved top, and scarf). David agreed to wear a long fancy black shirt with silver decorations called a shirvani, I wore my lengha which varied in color from dark red, purple, and orange with tiny black beads everywhere and even Ritu wore a shirvani that was rust and gold colored.  Juliana and I both wore armfuls of bangles that were color-coordinated with our lenghas and I wore a beautiful, ornate gold necklace that the family in Kanpur had given me.  Needless to say there are 90 million pictures of us all dressed up and I fully expect a life size blow up of me in Indian clothes on my in-laws living room wall next time we visit.

The party was held at a hotel called the Agra Ashok hotel.  The groom's family gathered outside the hotel and entered in one large bunch.  We were all carrying boxes of Indian sweets other gift wrapped boxes of snacks and little things.  The bride's family made a sort of reception line to greet us as we came in.  There were 2 or 3 videographers and a cluster of photographers, so it was like being met by paparazzi.  The party was outside, by the pool. The trees had been decorated with multi-color lights and a long buffet table was set up along one edge.  There were tables and chairs clustered by the buffet and a dance floor and sound system set up in the center of things.  Before that, next to the pool, were rows of chairs set up facing a dais with two fancy fan backed chairs covered in red velvet.  A tall framework covered in garlands of flowers formed a backdrop for the chairs. The bride was not present at this point.  The groom's family arrived at the seats and there was much picture taking and milling about.  Servers with trays of juice, soft drinks, and water worked the crowd.  Then came hot appetizers.  There was also a guy walking around with glasses with an inch or so whiskey and little pitchers of soda water so you could mix your own.  It would have ben unseemly for me to take one, but I shared Ritu's.  Latera guy walked around offering bowls of soup.  That struck me as a strange finger food.  All the kids who were there ran around and played on the dance floor.  David was doing a terrific job keeping track of his little cousin Sia who is 18 months old. 

After a little while, Deepu and his grandfather (Deepu's father died when he was fairly young) went and sat on the dais and a brief prayer service began.  At the end of that, the bride's family gave Deepu gifts: money, jewelry, and boxes of sweets.  Deepu smiled gamely throughout.  At around 9:30, the bride arrived and walked in slowly accompanied by her sisters and female cousins.  She looked lovely in an outfit of tangerine and silver that was by far the most detailed and ornate fabric there.  She made her way slowly onto the platform and she and Deepu sat in the red chairs.  Deepu had met her twice before tonight.  Once when he was checking out potential brides and once after they had made the arrangement to marry.  He told us that he liked her because he felt she would fit in well with his mother and his grandfather, with whom he lives.  He said she seemed to have the proper respect for them and didn't show any strong opinions about anything. 

Once they were seated on the chairs, there was a brief ceremony where a candle was lit and they exchanged rings.  Truthfully, with the cluster of photographers and Juliana getting tired and needy, I didn't get to see that part.  After that, it was the groom's family's turn to come and pay respects.  People crammed up onto the dais, presented them with gfts or waved money in circles over their head, then handed it to Deepu.  There was a box of open sweets on the table in front of them and you could feed them each a little bite.  Or you could take a big one and shove it in Deepu's mouth.  I was pushed around on the platform and told to sit on the arm of the bride's chair for pictures.  I saw then that she (her name is Shika or perhaps Shikha) had the henna painted on her hands and forearms.  I also saw then that she looked so nervous and overwhelemd that she might pass out or throw up.  I saw Deepu trying to explain who everyone was, but that was the extent of their interaction at this point.  Shikha kept her gaze mostly averted and nodded in response to his introductions.  It was shortly after this that Juliana got too tired and cold and needed to go back to our hotel.  Dinner had not yet been served, but people were out on the dance floor and occasionally handfuls of rupee bills were being tossed into the air for the children to scramble around and pick up. I don't know how thing progressed from there or how long the party lasted, but the mood was certainly festive when we left. 

Thursday, December 1, 2005

Back in Agra

We got back to Agra around 6 PM last night.  The drive from Jaipur takes about 5 hours and some of the roads are simply atrocious.  They make the Pennsylvania Turnpike seem smooth as silk.  We're back at the Mughal Sheraton which has quickly become our home away from home.  As this is the third time we've checked in here in about 10 days, we're starting to get special treatment.  Last night there was a bowl of fruit, a plate of cookies, and fresh flowers in our room. The kids are excited because they think we are VIPs now and the only time the hotel puts warm water in the swimming pool is when a VIP arrives.  

 Our plans have changed yet again and now we'll be staying here until Sunday morning, at which time we'll check out and head to Delhi.  Our flight doesn't leave until almost midnight, so it'll be a long day no matter how you slice it.

I realized I lied in my last entry.  We did do a tiny bit of sightseeing in Kanpur because we went to visit a temple while we were there.  It's called the J.K. Temple and it's that schmancy white building in the pictures.  It is, by far, the largest and most ornate temple we've seen thus far.  There seemed to be a lot of local school groups also visiting while we were there.   One group of school girls was staring at us (well, at the two whities....me and Becky) to beat the band.  Becky and I decided we wanted a picture with them.  We gestured to show them what we wanted and most of them shrieked and ran away.  A few brave souls stood their ground and we went and stood with them.  Suddenly a bunch of the kids filtered back in and posed for the picture with us.  If you've seen the pictures, there's one of Becky and me towering behind the giggling group. Afterwards, they  followed us through the entire temple, maintaining a respectful distance, but keeping their eyes on us at all times. 

I saw a quote in the newspaper here from somebody's travelogue that said something to the effect of: If staring was an Olympic sport, India would win a gold medal for sure".  This is sooooo true.   Becky and I are used to being stared at in India.  Everywhere we go, people stare openly and at great length.  It's not at all hostile, just simply out of curiosity. If you catch them staring, you know what they do?  Contnue to stare.  Juliana has also attracted some attention, especially when she's out and about in her regular clothes.  When we visited Sikandra (Did I write about that?  That's right before I got sick and got so far behind) and were taking pictures of the kids feeding monkeys, I noticed a Muslim family with the women in full burqas taking pictures of Juliana.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Only Have a Few Minutes

At these hotels, the way the wireless service works is that they give you a coupon good for 24 hours of wireless.  Once the time is up, you have to renew it.  I'm down to less than 30 minutes and we're heading back to Agra today, so I wanted to post quickly before I'm offline again.

Hopefully the pictures went through last night.  I had high hopes of captioning, but there are hundreds of them (happy, Julie??) and we are just too wiped out by the end of each day.  Here's a quick guide to what they are, though.  The batch marked India 2 are the ones from Kanpur.  They start with the train ride there, then show all the relatives from that side.  We didn't do any sightseeing there, so all the pictures are from two different uncle's houses.  When you see the kids playing, that's up on the roof of the house.  I know there is one of Juliana kneeling down on the roof grate that I took from the first floor of the house.  I took a bunch of pics from the roof and from the front of the house (those are the ones with the clotheslines criss-crossing everything....also of the cow walking past the window).  All the ones of people dancing are from the second house we went to.  There are a series of Ritu and I touching the feet of the older generation which is both a major sign of respect as well as a huge photo-opportunity, apparently.  There are also pics from the hotel lobby and the view from the hotel window.

The third batch are all from Jaipur.  The night ones are from Chokhi Dhani and then the rest are from our whirlwind tour yesterday.  First we visited City Palace, where the King of Jaipur still lives.  That's the building with the pink walls.  The yellow building with the striped flags is the royal residence, while the rest has been turned into a museum/tourist area.  From there we went to Jantur Mantur (I was going to say "forgive my spelling" but it's not like any of YOU know any better) and that's a nearly 300 year old observatory.  The pics are mainly of the kids climbing on all the sundials and other equipment which measure astrological movement.  That place was really cool.  Then there are pics of what translates to "the water palace" and those should be pretty obvious.  You can't actually tour that, but it makes for good pictures.  After lunch we drove up into the hills to Amber Fort which is the ancient fort where kings and queens used to live.  Took lots of pics of that, the view from there (including elephants bringing tourists up the front "driveway") and monkeys hanging around there.  We're traveling right now with my mother in law's sister and two younger cousins, Deepu (the one who got engaged) and Kunal.  I hope that helps with the pictures and I promise to go back and caption more thoroughly when I get home.

I don't have my complete address book on snapfish, so I tried to make sure one person from each group of people was getting the link and could forward it around.  If you didn't get them, try emailing somebody who might have them.

 

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Jottings from Jaipur

Hi all!  Sorry I've been so out of touch.  My last entry was a week ago which is also the day I came down with a lovely case of gastro-intestinal-why-the-hell-did-I-come-to-India-itis.  I spent a solid day in bed, but I was back up on my feet after about 36 hours.  So far, I'm the only one who has been significantly sick...must be a White Girl Special. 

Last Friday we took the train to Kanpur where we spent three days with my father-in-law's side of the family.  In India, it's traditional that when a woman gets married, she leaves her family and goes to live with the husband's.  Even though that tradition isn't strictly adhered to anymore, the first time a daughter-in-law comes to the husband's family's home is a cause for celebration.  So, 14 years after my wedding, I was treated like a new bride with ceremonies, gifts, singing and dancing.  While it was a bit overwhelming at first, the outpouring of affection was so kind and genuine that I was truly touched by it.  Our visit brought together scores of family members who had made the trip from various parts of India to see us.  I think it was the biggest gathering of family there since a funeral several years ago.  I really enjoyed getting to know people and there were cousins for the kids to play with.  All in all, despite the polluted air and the lack of wireless service, I wish we could've spent more time there.

We took the train back from Kanpur early Monday morning and spent the night back at our hotel in Agra.  Tuesday morning we took a 6 hour drive to the neighboring state of Rajastan to visit the city of Jaipur.  Last night we went to a touristy place called Chokhi Dhani which is basically a recreation of a Rajastani village where they have performers showing traditional dance and crafts.  There were also animal rides, places for the kids to play, and puppet and magic shows.  The kids had a total blast, even though it was probably the least authentic thing we've seen yet.

Today we're doing a day of sightseeing in Jaipur aka The Pink City and tomorrow we drive back to Agra, as the engagement party is Friay night.  I'm hoping to have internet access for the next few days and to get the next batch of pictures uploaded.  Maybe this time I'll even have the chance to add captions.

Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving.  We miss everybody and can't wait to see you!

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Monday

Monday morning we went back to Grandpapa's house for a puja (prayer ceremony) to honor a couple of recent birthdays in the family and to celebrate our visit.  His house is a seamless blend of indoors and outdoors.  There is a small courtyard in the front and most every room has a door that opens to the outside.  On the main floor are three bedrooms, a drawing room filled with couches and  chairs, a bathroom, a small open dining room, and a small kitchen that mainly seems to be for serving.  The refrigerator is not in the kitchen, but out in the dining area.  Each bedroom is small, but with enough room for a queen or king sized bed.  Other than maybe a chair, that is all the furniture in the bedrooms.  Instead of a dresser and/or closets, there are metal cabinets built into one wall for storage.  All the floors are made of marble which helps to keep things cool.  A set of marble stairs leads up to the roof which is flat and spacious.  When it gets very hot, people take cots and sleep on the roof.  From the roof, you can look down into the house's interior, walled courtyard.  This is where the puja was held.  The courtyard also has a marble floor and there is a small second kitchen off of the courtyard which is where the servants do most of the cooking. 

 

The puja was nice, although my multi-cultural kids manage to be equally bored by Jewish and Hindu ceremonies.  Interestingly, my participation in a puja is no longer a novelty, but Sarah's friend Becky was fussed over quite a bit.

 

After lunch there, we split up.  Ritu and David went with Ritu's uncle, "Papu", to his jewelry store while the womenfolk went shopping for material to make outfits for the engagement party.  Sarah and Becky are both planning to wear saris, while Juliana and I chose lenghas, which are short sleeved tops and long full skirts.  We went with my mother in law, her sister, and a 19 year old cousin named Sonum.

 

Let me try to describe this shopping experience to you.  Maybe Juliana's first impression will help.  We walked in the door and she said, "Mommy, I don't think this is a store.  I think this is a factory."  The shop was long and narrow.  One whole wall had floor to ceiling glass cabinets stacked with folded lengths of material.  (When you buy a sari, it's one size fits all because it's one length of cloth that gets wrapped and pinned.  At one end of the cloth is a small section of coordinating fabric and that is what the sari blouse is made from.)   Running the length of the cabinets was a low platform on which the salesmen sat crosslegged.  Wedged up against the platform were a row of low couches that had seen better days.  That's where the customer sits.  The store was so narrow that there was barely room for people to walk behind the couches.  You squeeze onto a couch and tell the clerk what you are looking for.  Maybe you point at some of the fabric in the cabinets.  Another guy serves as a runner and reaches down the fabric.  The clerk shakes it open in front of you so you can examine it.  Probably it's not exactly what you want, so you tell the clerk what colors you're thinking of and how fancy/how much detail you want on the fabric.  Suddenly there is fabric flying everywhere.  The runner is climbing shelves and gathering stacks of cloth and throwing it to the clerk.  Fabric is being shaken out, then pushed aside into a pile after cursory glances.  Now, don't forget there are 6 people in our group all loudly discussing what we need.  And things are being translated in and out of Hindi.  Loudly.  And we are only one of 5 or 6 groups doing the same thing at the same time.  It's noisy, a little smelly, and visually stunning.  Everywhere you look there is a whirlwind of vibrant colors, shiny embroidery, and sparkly accents.  Juliana spent some time with her head in my lap and her hands over her ears. 

 

Once we finally made our choices, then negotiating began.  Turns out Sonum is a master at this.  She named her price, and the storekeeper named his.  They argued for awhile, then seemed to agree.  Sonum paid her price then walked away.  Before she got to the door, the storekeeper started yelling and calling her back.  They debated some more, then she gave him more money.  I assume they had negotiated a new price between the first two.  At this point, everyone is all smiles and the deal is done.  Start to finish the whole tme at the store took about 2 hours.  I will never look at Nordstrom the same way again.

 

In the meantime, David and Ritu were at the jewelry shop.  It's a small space with glass front counters arranged in a U-shape.  Papu showed David all sorts of stones and gems and explained what they were.  He has a special display case of not-for-sale items such as a large topaz and big pieces of malachite.  He took them all out for David to touch and hold.  I don't think David has ever been happier.  He soaked in all that info like a sponge and Papu gave him small samples of 6 or 7 stones to take home.  Then they went next door to a shop where marble pieces are hand made.  The owner is a Muslim man who, amongst other things, exports handmade marble Judaica to New York City and California.  David had the whole process of marble working explained to him and chose some marble animals to bring home.

 

We all met up again around 5 PM at a spot across the river from the Taj Mahal.  There was a sidewalk that led to the river bank and we stood there and watched the sun set.  It wasn't really a tourist spot, so it wasn't too crowded.  There were some women there cutting up the grass or whatever vegetation was sparsely growing on the sandy river bank.  They gathered it up into cloth-wrapped bundles that they carried on their heads.  The Taj Mahal, needless to say, is breathtaking and I loved that we got this view of it that most people don't get to see.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

still no pictures

Sorry about the delay on pictures.  I'm trying to use Flickr and as far as I can tell it totally sucks.  I may need to transfer everything over to snapfish and send out emails with links from there.

 

 

Monday, November 21, 2005

Delhi to Agra

About an hour out of Delhi on the way to Agra, we stopped at a  roadside attraction where the kids could see and ride exotic animals.  It consisted of one elephant, one camel, one horse, and a guy with two monkeys on leashes, one of which was wearing a frilly dress.  (For eight years, I've refused to take my kids to the circus, so hopefully God will cut me some slack and forgive me for patronizing this place. )  The kids, needless to say, were thrilled to ride the elephant and the camel.  And yes, I rode the elephant too.  For 150 rupees ($3) the man had his monkeys perform a show for us.  It was the story of a man trying to win back his wife after they have a fight.  Oy.

 

The bathroom there was interesting.  They had two stalls: one Indian style and one European style.  Eurpean style is your basic flush toilet.  Indian style is more like a porcelain, oval shaped bowl set into the floor.  Instead of toilet paper, there is a bucket of water with a small plastic pitcher inside.  You (and by  "you" I mean "not me") squat and then use the water with your hand to rinse yourself clean.

 

Just outside of Agra, we stopped at a McDonald's.  I had warned the kids that just because it was McDonald's didn't mean they would like the food.  They both chose chicken sandwiches which ended up being spicy and covered in sauce.  I had a veggie burger whichwas pretty good and the fries tasted just like the ones we were used to.  Had enough bathroom info yet? Because here's some more.  In the bathroom at McDonald's, there was a girl whose job it was to wipe the toilet seat between each use.

 

We got to Agra around 4:30 and went right to Ritu's grandfathe's house.  We met up with a bunch of relatives and I expect my children will have permanent dents on their faces from all the cheek-pinching.  The kids were beat, so we checked into this hotel to put them to bed, and I stayed with them while Ritu went with his family to dinner at his uncle's house. 

 

We slept pretty well that night, but were all awake around 4:15 AM.  We got slowly up and dressed and at 6 AM went for breakfast.  I'm seeing now that the benefit of staying at a hotel is that the kids are at least getting one meal in the morning to anchor them for the rest of the day.  The hotel is chock-full of tourists from all over the world and there is a pretty good selection of kid-friendly food.  My children seem to be some of the very few here at the hotel and we get a lot of smiles from the middle-aged tourists. 

 

After breakfast we took some time to explore the hotel grounds.  There are acres of gardens, interspersed with fountains and other water features.  I don't know what came over David, but he demanded we take his picture in front of each and every fountain.  We wandered some more and found a hedge maze and a playground.  It's obvious to me that one purpose of the grounds is to insulate the guests from the surrounding city.  The playground was near the edge of the property so we could hear the sounds of traffic, music, street vendors and even the Muslim call to prayer.

 

As for pictures, I've taken a ton so far and I'm trying to get them uploaded to Flickr.  Not sure how soon I can link to them.  Let me post this then see if I can add some here.

 

Sunday, November 20, 2005

How to Drive in India

First, choose one of the following means of transportation:  motorscooter, bicycle (with or without rikshaw), van that looks like it's been shrunk in the dryer, bus, cart pulled by donkey, buffalo or camel (yes, really, camel!), mini-car that maybe you borrowed from an amusement park ride, tuk tuk, small size pick up truck, or tractor.

Next, load in as many people and/or as much cargo as you possibly can.  Now add more.  People standing on the rear bumpers of cars is fine.  People riding on top of the cabs of trucks is also fine.  Three people on a bicycle?  No problem.

Now you're ready to drive!    Make sure you know where your horn is because you'll be using it as often as your gas pedal.  Whenever you pass another vehicle, honk.  Get behind it, lay on the horn and keep honking til you are past it.  When you approach an intersection, honk the whole way through.  If somebody is going too slow for you, honk until they move out of the way.  You'll notice two lanes in each direction. That is just a general guideline.  Combinations of vehicles 4 across is not unusual.  If traffic is slow, drive off the road into the dirt.  Beware of cows standing in the road.  Also, large herds of goats being shepherded down the highway.  If you are on the wrong side of a divided highway, just drive the wrong way until you find a place to turn around.  (My favorite sign thus far:  an official highway sign that reads Please Do Not Drive in the Wrong Direction.)

Oh man.  We took a 4 hour drive to Agra today.  We had a hired van and driver.   Ritu quite accurately compared it to riding on Harry Potter's Knight Bus.  The sights were amazing and overwhelming and it's a miracle that we lived to tell about it.  A note about the honking: Many of the trucks have "Horn Please" painted on the rear bumper.  I guess they have limited visibility and they want to make sure they know you are there.  Often it will also say "Use your dippers at night".  That means to flash your high beams.  Despite all the honking and swerving, the drivers are very good-natured.  There is no swearing or angry outbursts.  That's just how you navigate the traffic in India. 

After a few hours, the sights on the road are so unpredictable that you stop being surprised by them.  A woman holding a baby  while riding side-saddle on the back of a motorbike?  Why not.  A man standing on the highway median with a monkey on a leash in one hand and a bear cub on a leash in the other?  But of course.  Men standing on the edge of the road peeing?  Ok, that one got old pretty fast.

Getting There

The first flight was uneventful and our layover in Newark was long enough that we were able to leave the airport and have dinner with my friend Jen, who just happens to be one of my favorite human beings on the planet.  It was the first chance for her husband and Ritu to meet and they hit it off right away.  Her kids and mine match up perfectly as well, so it was a good time, although too short of a visit.

 

Back at the Newark airport we started meeting up with our traveling companions: Ritu's parents, his sister, and a friend of hers from college. The flight was unbelievably long, but the kids did a terrific job.  If Leapster wants a testimonial from me, I would happily oblige.  We landed at the New Delhi airport at 9:50 PM  It had been 24 hours since we left Portland.

 

The first thing you notice in New Delhi is the air.  As soon as you get off the plane, you can smell an acrid smokiness.  This intensifies as you get outside.   The sky looks hazy and your throat starts to burn.  You can feel the grittiness in your eyes and nose.  Personally, I prefer my air untextured. 

 

We got through immigration with no problems, got our luggage, and left the airport.  We were expecting one or two people to meet us there, so imagine our surprise when we found that 8 relatives had made the trek to the airport.  We were especially glad to see my mother in law's sister, whom they call Minnie Mossi.  She glommed onto my kids first thing.  I actually got a little teary-eyed seeing them connect with her.  Of course, it could've just been the New Delhi air.

 

We made our way to the Marriott Welcomhotel.  It was gorgeous, with a big marble lobby.  By the time we got checked in and up to our rooms, it was 3 AM.  We'd all slept some on the plane, but we were in that hazy, headachy place of travel.  We managed to sleep from about 3 AM to 7 AM.  We had a nice breakfast in the hotel restaurant, packed up our stuff, and headed for Agra.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

The Idiots Go To India

Six months we've been planning this trip.  Six months at least.  Time enough to think of all the far-reaching aspects.  Time enough to apply for passports, send away for visas, to schedule shots.  All of that was completed in a timely manner; no sweat there.  Even our last minute details were well in hand.  I bragged of having time to relax yesterday afternoon.  You'd think I'd have learned not to tempt fate that way. 

 

Let me tell you about this morning.  We got up on time, our driver appeared on time, we hustled into the car and arrived at the airport at 6:05 AM.  Plenty of time for our 7:45 flight.  As our driver pulled away from the curb, Ritu did a quick once-over of our luggage.  Four suitcases on the cart.  Unfortunately, we'd packed five.  Yes, we managed to leave AN ENTIRE SUITCASE behind.  A quick call to the driver confirmed that it had not been left in the car.  Nope, it was back at the house.  THE HOUSE!  It was the biggest suitcase of all.  We borrowed it from our friend Dan and Debbie who refer to it as "The Black Hole".  Maybe that's  how we managed to overlook it.  Following many frantic phone calls, we arranged for our neighbor with a key to meet the driver back at our house to retrieve the suitcase.  (Which brings us to our Star Of The Day: Kenny Cohen.  Kenny, your mitzvah will not be soon forgotten!) 

 

Ritu stayed at the curb with a ticket agent until almost 7:30 waiting for it to arrive.  Time ran out and he had to get to the gate.  I write this on the plane not knowing if Suitcase #5 is on board with us.  The driver called to say he dropped it off  right after 7:30 and the ticket agent seemed optimistic that she could still get it on.  Only time will tell.

 

I will say that the Continental people were both pleasant and helpful.  I have no doubt that once we were gone, they shook their heads and wondered why in God's name we would attempt international travel.

 

Final Note:  We got here as did ALL of our suitcases!!  The traveling itself went well, but we're dead exhausted and I'll try to update more soon.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

All Our Bags Are Packed

We leave first thing tomorrow morning.  I had a bit of a freak out yesterday regarding all the things I needed to do.  I walked around vibrating and mentally paralyzed for awhile and finally decided to toss all the perishable stuff out of my fridge.  Surely there could have been no better usage of my time. <insert eye roll here>  But yesterday afternoon I packed all the kids' clothes and last night Ritu and I tackled our packing.  I'm feeling in remarkably good shape for the trip at this moment in time.  My house is clean so that we won't come back to a mess (God Bless Flylady) and I was even able to honor a volunteer committment I had at the school today.

There's been a slight change in our itinerary.  Instead of going from Jaipur to New Delhi, we'll be going back to Agra for a day or so.  Turns out one of Ritu's cousins got engaged, so now there's going to be a big blow-out of an engagement party while we're there.  I don't know exactly when we'll be where, but I'll update when I do.  (That way if there's a monsoon, typhoon, or ka-BOOM, you'll have a vague idea of if we're involved.)

Juliana finally admitted this morning to being a tiny bit excited about the trip.  She's been saying all along that she doesn't want to go.  People ask me why she's not excited.  Well, let's see.  We've  told her what a wonderful experience this is going to be, while ennumerating the deadly, brain-swelling diseases for which she must be vaccinated.  We've subjected her to 5 shots in 6 weeks.  (Excited yet, honey?  It's going to be such an adventure!  Except for the water, of course.  The water there is like poison to you.)  Oh, and she's 5 1/2 and she thrives on routine, consistency, and familiarity.   Did we mention enough times how DIFFERENT every single thing there is going to be?  Yeah, I don't get why she's not excited. 

David, on the other hand, totally gets the adventure part of it.  Well, that and he found the two new game boy games I bought for him to have on the plane.  Either way, he's raring to go.

We'll Have Our Fill From The Grill

 

Anticipating a dearth of beef in India, we've decided as a family to have our fare-thee-well dinner at Outback Steakhouse.  Mmmmm cow!

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Trial Run

 

At 6:10 this morning, I was awakened by somebody knocking on the front door.  I woke up Ritu and, using my Girl Privilege Card, suggested that he go downstairs and find out what was going on.  Turns out it was our driver all set to take us to the airport. Three days early.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Itinerary

We leave Friday, November 18th and fly from Portland to Newark, then from Newark to New Delhi.  All on Continental.  I'm sure Continental will do a fine job, it just seems like we should be flying something more exotic.  We arrive in New Delhi at 9:15 PM.  Now here's where it gets tricky.  The time change in India is 13 hours and 30 minutes ahead of Oregon.  Why 30 minutes?  I have no idea.  Stop pestering me on details.  So when we arrive in New Delhi at 9:15 PM, it will be on the 19th.  Ok, subtract 13 1/2 hours....hang on...carry the 1....ok, it would be 7:45 AM on November 19th back in Oregon.  Which is almost precisely 24 hours from the time we will have left.  Gee, it sounds a lot worse when I look at it that way. 

The whole point of this lesson is that when I give you the dates of where we'll be in India, I'm going by what day it is there.  You'll just have to do your own math because, personally, I'm giving myself a headache here.  Maybe this will help

 

11/18  Leave PDX

11/19 Arrive New Delhi

11/20 Drive to Agra

11/25 Train to Kanpur

11/28 Train back to Agra

11/30 Drive to Jaipur

12/2  Drive to New Delhi

12/4 Fly out of New Delhi

12/5  Arrive in Portland around noon.

Need a map?  I thought you might.  You'll see that all of where we're going is in the northern central part of the country.

 

 

 

Sunday, November 13, 2005

The streak is over

T Minus 5 Days....aaaaaaaand, as if on schedule, David threw up today at Sunday School.  Want to lay bets on whether this was a fluke or the beginning of a horrid plague that will fell every last one of us? 

David's streak is officially broken.  He's nearly 8 1/2 and this is the first time he's ever thrown up.  That's a far cry from his sister.  When she was 3 and under, all you had to do was hear anecdotal evidence of a stomach flu in say, Alaska, and within 20 minutes she had caught it and was puking on your foot.

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Friday, November 11, 2005

I knew there was something missing

The other day, Juliana announced that when she becomes a scientist, she's going to invent cursive numbers.