Thursday, June 28, 2007

I Stole All These Pictures Right From Jen's Blog.

Based on the current level of my PMS  (approximately 2 feet above my head), I am pretty sure I am not pregnant.  Sorry to disappoint you all, but let's face it, this is better than having to fling myself off an I-5 overpass. 

As Sarah keeps helpfully reminding me (And is it a rule that you have to be named Sarah or Jen to comment on this blog?), I've yet to share the Adventure In Grace from my girls' weekend.  Here goes.

My fabulous friend Julie--if you read my birthday blog, she's the one who wrote the charming story of getting the hotel DNA blanket caught in her braces.  That story stays 100% funny no matter how many times you hear it--has a gorgeous house that she kindly opens  up to us when we're able to coordinate these rare chances to get together.  The last time was three years ago and in the span of a few short days I managed to sit on her sunglasses and break them as well as take out one of her landscaping lights with my van.  I'm nothing if not consistent.

This trip, though, I was as careful as I could be.  I had a close brush the last day coming down the steps with my arms full of luggage, but all the decorative items stayed intact and I (prematurely) congratulated myself for making it through the weekend disaster-free.

With literally 10 minutes left, we gathered in Julie's kitchen to give her a surprise hostess gift.  It was a set of glass coasters that she had admired while we were at the Tacoma Museum of Glass (which is an amazing place) and that we'd secretly bought for her.  As you can see from the pictures, she was truly touched and overwhelmed.



It was precisely at this sweet moment, that I leaned against the wall in the kitchen.  Unfortunately, I leaned right against a large framed photograph of Julie's oldest son, who is away at college.  The picture frame was adorned with a couple of necklaces.  To make it even better, I think they were actually crucifixes.  My leaning against the picture caused it to crash to the floor.  On the way down, it gouged a piece of wood from the baseboard.  Luckily, Jen had her omnipresent camera and immortalized my mad scramble to pick things up. 



I was so close.  SO CLOSE.  In ten minutes we would've all parted ways without incident. 

But these women are my friends and if there's one thing I am certain of, it's that they will never let me live this down.  But that's ok.   Because to my credit, I was able to make Joy laugh so hard that she had to run across a ferry terminal and spit coffee into a trash can.  Where were the damn cameras then?

Here's a group photo (L to R:  Joy, Jen, Julie, Amy, and Me)


Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Did I Mention?

So, did I mention that while standing in a sandwich shop on Friday, I convinced myself that I was pregnant?

There are many, many solid reasons why I am not pregnant.  For one, my husband had a vasectomy.  Secondly, I am clinically infertile and only get pregnant when I am completely caffeine-free and taking Clomid.  Third, I am never completely caffeine-free.  I believe that my great love of coffee may have something to do with its contraceptive properties. 

And yet.  Last Monday night I had a dream that I was very newly pregnant.  I was so excited and couldn't wait to tell everyone.   I'm blaming the dream on having just spent those days with my baby nephew.  But I take dreams fairly seriously and both times I was pregnant, I correctly dreamed the sex of the baby.

Secondly, I have been bone-dead tired for a week.  I did have one of the busiest weeks of my life last week which probably has something to do with it.  We were so busy that for two days I couldn't even get to the store to get milk.  And my house was so neglected that while watching Stomp perform with  pushbrooms on Saturday night, I was completely distracted by thoughts of how filthy my wood floors were. (For the record, Stomp is one of those things that having now seen it, I'll never feel the urge to see again.)

Thirdly, I've been craving roast beef.  David recently learned to like deli roast beef and since he only introduces about two new foods into his repertoire per year, I made sure to go buy some.  I ate roast beef sandwiches two days in a row for lunch, then when I was at the sandwich shop and they couldn't make me the pizza sub I wanted (Their toaster had broken the day before.  Losers.), I scanned the board and immediately chose roast beef.  I never choose roast beef.  I always get turkey.  That's when it hit me.  The last time I craved roast beef was the week before I found out I was pregnant with Juliana.  We'd had relatives come in from out of town for David's second birthday and we'd stocked up on sandwich fixings.  One morning I found myself eating the roast beef straight out of the bag for breakfast.  Four days later I was holding a positive pregnancy test.

If it turns out I am pregnant, I will happily choose a random commenter to name andraise the baby!  Feel free to email me with updates on the baby's life and I'll post them here!

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Happy Summer!

For those of you who care, I am still here!  I keep thinking I'll wait until I have some real time to write which means that maybe come October I'll get something posted.  We made it through David's birthday party and the ballet recital unscathed, then celebrated the end of school by driving straight to the airport to visit my new nephew in St. Louis  for the weekend.  I have pictures of all these things on our new camera, but my life has been such that I can't seem to find the time to locate the cord and thus get them from the camera to the computer.  And David faithfully wrote all his thank you notes nearly a week ago and I've yet to get them into envelopes, addressed and mailed. 

I spent the first half of the week playing catch-up around the house from being out of town, and the second half working on a garage sale held by our Relay For Life team.  Unfortunately, I'm convinced all the work I'm doing in the name of cancer research is causing me to sprout a tumor.

The good news is that my jaw is pretty much healed and it only took five nights of valium.  Which means I still have 15 tablets left for anyone who'd like to make me an offer.

Next week should be calmer, but then we leave town for a week over the holiday.  Ritu suggested not bringing the computer, but once I calmly explained how I was looking forward to some leisurely writing time and let him out of that headlock, he seemed to understand.

Despite my laundry list of complaints, I am so happy not to be selling a house this summer that it all just bounces right off me.  I hate to post and run, but the garage sale needs my expert help in dragging tables and hauling boxes.


Friday, June 8, 2007

My New Friend Val

My computer is finally back!  I think it needed a new power source and to have thick layers of dust blown off its various fans.  Or something.  Whatever.  It works now and that's all that matters to me.  I have to admit, though, that I was exponentially more productive with it gone.  In fact, I got the kids'/guest bathroom totally redone in this time.  And I'd gladly post pictures, but now my camera has stopped working.  (Maybe there's a tiny little dusty fan in there?)

The other thing I accomplished in this time was developing the mother of all muscle spasms in my jaw.  It's no secret that I clench my teeth when I sleep, but generally it goes in cycles where I have a little discomfort every few months for a short period of time.  But I am all about personal bests, so this time I took it to a whole new level.  As the problem increased, I would lie awake at night consciously trying to unclench my jaw.  This led to insomnia which led to more jaw tightening.  When I would fall asleep, I'd practically need a crowbar to open my mouth in the morning.  During my trip to Pittsburgh, it escalated to the point where I was in pain all the time.  It wasn't the worst pain I've ever had, but its constant presence was wearing me down physically and emotionally.  On Tuesday I got to the dentist who confirmed that it was a muscle issue, as opposed to a tooth problem.  He gave me this awesome jaw massage right there in the chair and sent me home with instructions to alternate ice and heat on it and to continue taking pain relievers.  Oh, and a prescription for Valium to take at night. He said it was to serve as a muscle relaxer, but when I filled the prescription,  the pharmacist looked me over and said, "Ok, so it looks like you'll be taking this to help you get some sleep....or to help with anxiety....?"  I pried my jaw open long enough to stammer that it was to deal with a muscle spasm.  She nodded, but I could tell she thought I was crazy. 

So, now I get to take a Valium every night before bed.  I'd never taken it before, so I wasn't sure how it would affect me.  The first night I noticed that my limbs felt awfully heavy.  I went to scratch my chin and it took like, three solid minutes for my hand to get to my face.  Ritu asked how I felt and the only word that seemed to fit was "agreeable".  Talk about a foreign feeling.  On the second night, I sent the following email to my sister: 
I took my valium and now my legs work funny.

The good news is that the spasm is slowly but surely easing up.  The bad news is that eventually I'll run out of Valium.  I go back to the dentist in two weeks at which point I'll probably be fitted with a night guard.  Anybody have experience with those?  Can you tell me how they rank compared to say, nightly Valium?

And I promise I didn't forget to write about my adventures in clumsiness during my weekend (thank you for the kick-start, Sarah!) but did I mention that my in-laws get here tomorrow?  And that David's birthday party is tomorrow?  And Juliana's ballet recital is Monday?  And that Thursday is both the last day of school and the day we leave town for a weekend in St. Louis to meet our new nephew?  Oh wait...do you hear that?  It's the sweet sweet sound of my Valium calling.