Lest you think I'm getting more co-ordinated over time, here are some of my recent proud moments:
1. The other day I was walking to the table with my breakfast plate in my hand. I stopped to put something in the trash and my entire breakfast slid off my plate and onto the floor. Two slices of toast, two slices of cheese, and a Morningstar veggie sausage patty. It was the Grand Slam of breakfast droppage.
2. At the grocery store, I managed to injure myself with an artichoke. I had two in a plastic bag (Juliana loves them, the little weirdo) in my cart and when I went to pick up something next to them, one of the pointy ends jabbed right into my finger, drawing blood. I actually had to squeeze a piece of it out of my skin like you do with a bee sting. A week later I noticed my finger had a sore spot and sure enough there was a tiny bit of artichoke quill? spine? still left under the skin. I was able to extract it preventing me from becoming the first person in history to lose a digit via artichoke.
On Sunday I was eating a delightful spinach salad with a lemony dressing. I took a bite of spinach and the stem shot upwards and jabbed me in the eye. Lemony dressing in your eye feels just about like you'd expect.
A few weeks ago, I was sitting in a synagogue meeting when my cell phone rang. I scooped up my purse and attempted to make it unobtrusively out of the room. Instead, my purse spilled all over the floor as my phone continued to ring. (Yes, I know there's a way to silence it when it starts ringing, but I can never remember which button that is.) I'm sure the other synagogue members were most amused by me hissing "JESUS!" as I scrambled to gather up my belongings.
And the piece de resistance occurred on my trip up to Seattle. Good Lord, this one actually comes with photographic evidence. But that one will have to wait for another day...
5 comments:
Muhahaha !! A mere link to my blog and the evidence is there.... hee !! Hmm ... shall I torture you ?? <bg>
Wait...you were eating spinach and the stem hit you in the eye? Were you eating an entire spinach bush? The spinach leaves I've eaten are not long enough to reach from my fork to my eye. Unless my face is in my salad plate.
You are remarkable.
Yes, ahem (HP).... as a Catholic talking to a Jew......the hissing of "JESUS!"........amusing to the synagogue members (Mel would have a field day with that!)..............the Pope, however, disapproves!! Garsh Darn It! Other than that, I TOTALLY agree with momdeplume about the salad................perhaps you were in a field of spinach??????????? :)S
<snort!> Seriously.......you aren't making this up? well, I guess not since I witnessed the Seattle moment<snort!>
Jen! Where's a link to her blog, I must know! You always manage to make me feel better about my hip bruises from not clearing the doorway and that fact that my hands are always covered in cuts and scabs and I don't know why. I'm glad you gals had fun, though.
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