Hello, Dolly!

I am currently battling the worst cold known to man or God.  It's especially bad because we are having a stretch of dry, sunny weather which means all of Nature is mocking me on top of everything else.  I do feel slightly better today; not enough to say that I've turned a corner, but perhaps enough to merit rounding a bend.  Juliana had the cold last week and now that I have it I almost wish I'd been nicer to her.  Almost.  It's hard to find a lot of empathy for someone who does everything at such a maddeningly slow pace.  I don't know if she suffered a secret head injury or something, but getting her out the door for school each morning is going to drive me to put Bailey's in my coffee.  Or possibly meth if I could find it in cinnamon hazelnut.

Here's an example.  The other day I asked her to clear her dishes and put them into the dishwasher.  She had a plate and a bowl.  They were on the island which is at the most four steps from the dishwasher.  I kept an eye on the clock.  It took her SEVEN MINUTES to complete this task.  To say she gets distracted is like saying that Luciano Pavarotti gets hungry.  First she flitted over to the calendar to see what was on it.  When there was nothing specific marked for that day, she wanted to scrawl Have Fun on it.  Then back to the island before pivoting over to the bulletin board to check the lunch menu for the week.  She got the bowl into the dishwasher, then headed over to the guinea pig cage where much baby talk ensued.  Then she chose her socks for the day, stopping to sing an operatic ode to her Favorite Socks (You are my Favorite Socks.  I will wear you every day that you are clean.  It doesn't matter if you don't match my outfit.).  Finally she made it back to the island and......oh, Jesus.  I am so sorry.  I just realized that I am writing the blogging equivalent of  Little Billy following the dotted lines in a  Family Circus comic.  Please find it in your hearts to forgive me.