Tuesday, March 14, 2006

To Sleep, Perchance To Barf

We recovered from Juliana's last illness (three days of school missed!) in time to be slammed with a new one this past week.  She woke up Thursday night around 11:00 crying about a stomach ache .  At midnight, when she was snuggling in our bed (did I say snuggling?  I meant writhing and moaning.), she suddenly sat up, announced she had to burp, and puked alllll over my side of the bed.  I just barely got out of the line of fire and, by some miracle of God, managed to refrain myself from shoving her off the edge of the bed when she erupted.  She spent the next few hours looking for clean patches of carpeting and obscure pieces of bedding (dust ruffles are always good) to defile.   I have to mention here that this is the second time in a row that a stomach bug has come on directly following a playdate at her friend Shannon's house.  I was only half-kidding when I accused Shannon's parents of engaging my child in games of Ipecac Bingo. 

She spent all of Friday on the couch, puking twice more, and wasn't really back to herself until Monday morning.  To make a nice change, she timed this illness during days off of school.  But we'd had a mom and daughter overnight at Mt. Hood planned for Saturday  that we had to bail on.  Which was an excellent plan, seeing as I came down with it Saturday night.  Why is it always in the middle of the night?  Is there some actual medical reason for that?  Although, it could've been worse.  My mom's friend started to feel ill at work, decided to go home, got as far as her street when she threw up at the wheel and took out her neighbor's mailbox. 

My illness was shorter-lived than hers and I felt pretty good by Monday morning, but I have a few lingering side effects.  I've got a weird taste in my mouth and everything smells disgusting.  (And just shut up right there.  I am NOT pregnant.)  I'm easily tired and I seem more susceptible to the dizzying effects of flourescent lights.  Nothing sounds that good to eat or drink, but I'm thirsty a lot.  It's that weird thing where I only feel thirsty in the back of my mouth.  Like, that part of my tongue seems to be missing all the moisture.  (If you have no idea what I mean, just smile and nod.)  I keep trying variousdrinks to solve the problem: ginger ale, gator ade, club soda.  Today at the grocery store, I bought a bottle of black currant-cranberry sparkling juice.  Driving home, I was parched (but only in the back of my mouth) so I opened it up.  It promptly exploded and now my van looks like a crime scene. 

David and Ritu, The Men of Steel Stomachs, have yet again escaped the illness.  How I hate them.  Not that I really want them to be sick, of course, but the disparity of the whole thing seems patently unfair and I feel entitled to my bitterness. 

Let me leave you with one gem of wisdom:  If you think there may be vomiting in your future, do not--I repeat DO NOT--have Thai food for dinner.  That is all. 


hallcjm said...

Yu must blog more. I always need a good chuckle. Give Shannon a bottle of Lysol for her bday :)

fariedst said...

The Women Puking thing may be a Sahni family trait as well. I am a quick puker as is my mom. But i have no memory of my dad ever throwing up.

foilhat16 said...

Is it mean for me to say that I love when bad things happen in your family?  Not the actual bad things, but you're so funny when you write about them.  Maybe from now on you can just make stuff up?  Ipecac Bingo?  I know that's how our local Bulimec Society raise money.  Didn't know just anyone could play.  ;)  

momdeplume said...

Thai food barf is nothing.  Once, years ago, I got sick (yes, in the middle of the night) and couldn't even get out of bed fast enough, a la Juliana,  and barfed up all the spaghetti with spinach marinara sauce that I had eaten for dinner.  The saddest thing is that the dog, who was sleeping next to me, wasn't able to move fast enough either, so I had to clean up (a) the bed (b) the shag carpet and (c) the long haired dog in the middle of the night.  But it was colorful And I've never had that kind of sauce since then.  So there.