Here's a quick list of some of my latest, amazing accomplishments:
1. I picked up David's metal wastebasket to prepare for Roomba-ing and whacked my shin with it hard enough to leave a bruise.
2. I went to floss my teeth and somehow managed to gouge my chin with my thumbnail.
3. I knocked over a mostly full bottle of Lipton's Green Tea all over my kitchen floor.
Now, to understand a little bit about how I got to be the way I am, I'd like to share this email I got from my mother last week. It was entitled: My Day Thus Far At 1:00.
I took my travel mug and filled it with coffee. I started to drive to
Staples, where I had to buy some things before work. I tried to drink some
coffee. About 1/4 of it spilled alllll over my car as the lid wasn't on
straight. <sigh> I fixed the lid, parked at Staples and took another
drink of coffee. About 1/4 of it spilled alllll over my jacket, my pants, and my
carseat as the lid wasn't on straight. <swearing>
I used about 1/2 large box of Kleenex to dry things off and pretend that I
hadn't wet my pants. I fixed the lid again.
I bought things, which I held discretely in front of me, at Staples, and
left and drove to work.
I set my 1/2 cup of coffee on my desk and hurried to answer the phone.
About 1/2 of the remaining coffee spilled alllll over my desk as I knocked over
the mug. <loud swearing>
Now there is a meeting in the Rabbi's office. She asked me about
something, and I set my container of salad down to look for it. The remaining
1/3 of my salad spilled alllll over the rug as I had set the container mostly on
air. <can't really swear with people here: teeth gnashing>
I'm a little afraid to drive home and walk the dog later. I think I'll
take my insurance card with me.
I really never stood a chance, did I?
1 comment:
Oh Janet. I'm soo sorry. It truly is genetics. It's no consolation, I'm sure, but do know you aren't alone.. I have a true knack for walking into door jambs and immovable objects, like my dining table that seats 10.
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