Down and Out

My computer has been down all week and now I'm heading to Pittsburgh for the weekend for my aunt and uncle' 50th anniversary party.  I hope to be up and running again in the near future.....

Proud Moments

Lest you think I'm getting more co-ordinated over time, here are some of my recent proud moments:

1. The other day I was walking to the table with my breakfast plate in my hand.  I stopped to put something in the trash and my entire breakfast slid off my plate and onto the floor.  Two slices of toast, two slices of cheese, and a Morningstar veggie sausage patty.  It was the Grand Slam of breakfast droppage. 

2.  At the grocery store, I managed to injure myself with an artichoke.  I had two in a plastic bag (Juliana loves them, the little weirdo) in my cart and when I went to pick  up something next to them, one of the pointy ends jabbed right into my finger, drawing blood.  I actually had to squeeze a piece of it out of my skin like you do with a bee sting.  A week later I noticed my finger had a sore spot and sure enough there was a tiny bit of artichoke quill? spine? still left under the skin.  I was able to extract it preventing me from becoming the first person in history to lose a digit via artichoke.

On Sunday I was eating a delightful spinach salad with a lemony dressing.  I took a bite of spinach and the stem shot upwards and jabbed me in the eye.  Lemony dressing in your eye feels just about like you'd expect.

A few weeks ago, I was sitting in a synagogue meeting when my cell phone rang.  I scooped up my purse and attempted to make it unobtrusively out of the room.  Instead, my purse spilled all over the floor as my phone continued to ring.  (Yes, I know there's a way to silence it when it starts ringing, but I can never remember which button that is.)  I'm sure the other synagogue members were most amused by me hissing "JESUS!" as I scrambled to gather up my belongings.

And the piece de resistance occurred on my trip up to Seattle.  Good Lord, this one actually comes with photographic evidence.  But that one will have to wait for another day...

 

Here I Am

I was gone for a long weekend up near Seattle with four of my girlfriends. They come from all over the country and we all met on an AOL pregnancy board when we were pregnant with our now-seven-year olds.  I can't even put into words how much fun I had, how hard I laughed and how much better I feel from having that chance to re-charge my batteries.  I swear, at times I felt like a 13 year old girl at a slumber party.  I promise to post some picture from the trip as soon as I get the chance. 

In the meantime, I had a complaint (I'm looking at you, Jen) that there hadn't been any pics of the kids lately, so here you go.  Juliana had an open house at school today where the parents were invited to come view the first graders' animal research reports.  Here are a few pics from that.

Here she is standing next to her report and the hands-on model of her animal.


Her report was on rabbits.  Here's a close-up of the sock puppet rabbit in its habitat.



Isn't she a doll??  Her outfit went from Springy Cute to Ragamuffin once she added the hairscarf and ratty Converse All-Stars.



I have some pictures of David from his class production of Charlotte's Web, but he's standing right here and is threatening me with death if I post them.  Sweet child, that one...

Mexican Chipotle Brownies

At a Cinco De Mayo party last week, I was introduced to the concept of Mexican Brownies.  Basically they are regular brownies with the addition of cinnamon and chipotle powder.  I'll admit to being wildly skeptical (I don't like ANYthing polluting my chocolate) but to my surprise, they were delicious.  You end up with a brownie with a lot of depth of flavor and instead of it tasting spicy, you are left with a nice warm tingly feeling in your mouth.  David wouldn't go near them (but then again, most toothpastes are "too spicy" for him), but Juliana loved them.

Mexican Chipotle Brownies
1 cup butter
1 cup flour
4 ounces unsweetened chocolate
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
3/4 teaspoon ground chipotle powder
4 eggs
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 teaspoon vanilla

Preheat oven to 325.  Grease and flour a baking pan (you can use 11x7 or 9x13).  In the top of a double boiler, melt the butter and unsweetened chocolate. Stir until smooth and combined then remove from heat. In a large mixing bowl, combine flour, sugar, cinnamon, and  chipotle powder.  Add the melted chocolate and butter to the flour mixture.  Mix to combine.  Add eggs and vanilla, mixing until smooth.  Stir in chocolate chips.  Pour mixture into prepared baking pan and bake until center is set, 35-40 minutes.  Makes 24 servings.

LOLCATS

How is it I never knew about lolcats until this minute?  I spent the first few pages at I Can Has Cheezburger? just staring in puzzled amazement.  But it started to get funnier and funnier.  Oh, Internet, what other secret joys are you hiding from me?

Hello, Dolly!

I am currently battling the worst cold known to man or God.  It's especially bad because we are having a stretch of dry, sunny weather which means all of Nature is mocking me on top of everything else.  I do feel slightly better today; not enough to say that I've turned a corner, but perhaps enough to merit rounding a bend.  Juliana had the cold last week and now that I have it I almost wish I'd been nicer to her.  Almost.  It's hard to find a lot of empathy for someone who does everything at such a maddeningly slow pace.  I don't know if she suffered a secret head injury or something, but getting her out the door for school each morning is going to drive me to put Bailey's in my coffee.  Or possibly meth if I could find it in cinnamon hazelnut.

Here's an example.  The other day I asked her to clear her dishes and put them into the dishwasher.  She had a plate and a bowl.  They were on the island which is at the most four steps from the dishwasher.  I kept an eye on the clock.  It took her SEVEN MINUTES to complete this task.  To say she gets distracted is like saying that Luciano Pavarotti gets hungry.  First she flitted over to the calendar to see what was on it.  When there was nothing specific marked for that day, she wanted to scrawl Have Fun on it.  Then back to the island before pivoting over to the bulletin board to check the lunch menu for the week.  She got the bowl into the dishwasher, then headed over to the guinea pig cage where much baby talk ensued.  Then she chose her socks for the day, stopping to sing an operatic ode to her Favorite Socks (You are my Favorite Socks.  I will wear you every day that you are clean.  It doesn't matter if you don't match my outfit.).  Finally she made it back to the island and......oh, Jesus.  I am so sorry.  I just realized that I am writing the blogging equivalent of  Little Billy following the dotted lines in a  Family Circus comic.  Please find it in your hearts to forgive me. 

The Onion

My friend Susan sent me this link and said that reading it brought her back to my hair post.  I thought you all might get a kick of out it as well.

Area Woman's Entire Day Ruined By Bangs

 

Making An Example Out Of Him

Ritu does a fair amount of traveling for his work and when he does, he is reminded time and time again what it means to be a man with brown skin dealing with airline security in this day and age.  Those "random" security checks always seem to choose him, especially when he is flying by himself.  

When September 11th happened, we were living in a small town in North Carolina. At the time, David was four and Juliana was just a baby.   I will never forget our family being in a grocery store a few days afterwards.   As we worked our way through the store, people stared at us and conversations dropped off.  There was a palpable feeling of distrust and accusation in their silence.  It was unsettling to say the least.

Two weeks ago Ritu had to fly to San Diego to teach a course.  It was just an overnight trip, so he only took a carry-on suitcase.  In the Portland airport, he readied himself to go through security.  As he waited in line for the conveyor belt, he took a couple of those gray bins and loaded them up with his shoes, his coat, his computer.  Suddenly a TSA worker strode towards him and shot his hand into one of his bins.  Ritu braced for whatever was coming next.  The man held high the bag he had plucked from his belongings and started to speak loudly to the rest of the people waiting in line.  "See this?  This is how you do it, people.  A quart-sized ziplock bag with your liquids and gels inside.  None of them more than 3 ounces!"  He waved it around a moment more like a test paper with an A+, then returned the bag to Ritu's bin, smiled at him, and wished him a good flight. 

Nature Vs. Nurture?

I should be mopping my floors, but I'm taking a minute out to post.  Ritu had his knee surgery just over a week ago and this is the first day since then that everyone has cleared out of my house by 8:45 THE WAY THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO. 

Here's a quick list of some of my latest, amazing accomplishments:

1.  I picked up David's metal wastebasket to prepare for Roomba-ing and whacked my shin with it hard enough to leave a bruise. 

2.  I went to floss my teeth and somehow managed to gouge my chin with my thumbnail.

3.  I knocked over a mostly full bottle of Lipton's Green Tea all over my kitchen floor.

Now, to understand a little bit about how I got to be the way I am, I'd like to share this email I got from my mother last week.  It was entitled:  My Day Thus Far At 1:00.

I took my travel mug and filled it with coffee.  I started to drive to Staples, where I had to buy some things before work.  I tried to drink some coffee.  About 1/4 of it spilled alllll over my car as the lid wasn't on straight.  <sigh>  I fixed the lid, parked at Staples and took another drink of coffee. About 1/4 of it spilled alllll over my jacket, my pants, and my carseat as the lid wasn't on straight. <swearing>

I used about 1/2 large box of Kleenex to dry things off and pretend that I hadn't wet my pants.  I fixed the lid again.

 

I bought things, which I held discretely in front of me,  at Staples, and left and drove to work.

 

I set my 1/2 cup of coffee on my desk and hurried to answer the phone.  About 1/2 of the remaining coffee spilled alllll over my desk as I knocked over the mug.  <loud swearing>

 

Now there is a meeting in the Rabbi's office.  She asked me about something, and I set my container of salad down to look for it.  The remaining 1/3 of my salad spilled alllll over the rug as I had set the container mostly on air.  <can't really swear with people here: teeth gnashing>

 

I'm a little afraid to drive home and walk the dog later.  I think I'll take my insurance card with me.

I really never stood a chance, did I?