Thursday, May 31, 2007
Down and Out
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Proud Moments
Lest you think I'm getting more co-ordinated over time, here are some of my recent proud moments:
1. The other day I was walking to the table with my breakfast plate in my hand. I stopped to put something in the trash and my entire breakfast slid off my plate and onto the floor. Two slices of toast, two slices of cheese, and a Morningstar veggie sausage patty. It was the Grand Slam of breakfast droppage.
2. At the grocery store, I managed to injure myself with an artichoke. I had two in a plastic bag (Juliana loves them, the little weirdo) in my cart and when I went to pick up something next to them, one of the pointy ends jabbed right into my finger, drawing blood. I actually had to squeeze a piece of it out of my skin like you do with a bee sting. A week later I noticed my finger had a sore spot and sure enough there was a tiny bit of artichoke quill? spine? still left under the skin. I was able to extract it preventing me from becoming the first person in history to lose a digit via artichoke.
On Sunday I was eating a delightful spinach salad with a lemony dressing. I took a bite of spinach and the stem shot upwards and jabbed me in the eye. Lemony dressing in your eye feels just about like you'd expect.
A few weeks ago, I was sitting in a synagogue meeting when my cell phone rang. I scooped up my purse and attempted to make it unobtrusively out of the room. Instead, my purse spilled all over the floor as my phone continued to ring. (Yes, I know there's a way to silence it when it starts ringing, but I can never remember which button that is.) I'm sure the other synagogue members were most amused by me hissing "JESUS!" as I scrambled to gather up my belongings.
And the piece de resistance occurred on my trip up to Seattle. Good Lord, this one actually comes with photographic evidence. But that one will have to wait for another day...
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Here I Am
In the meantime, I had a complaint (I'm looking at you, Jen) that there hadn't been any pics of the kids lately, so here you go. Juliana had an open house at school today where the parents were invited to come view the first graders' animal research reports. Here are a few pics from that.
Here she is standing next to her report and the hands-on model of her animal.
Her report was on rabbits. Here's a close-up of the sock puppet rabbit in its habitat.
Isn't she a doll?? Her outfit went from Springy Cute to Ragamuffin once she added the hairscarf and ratty Converse All-Stars.
I have some pictures of David from his class production of Charlotte's Web, but he's standing right here and is threatening me with death if I post them. Sweet child, that one...
Monday, May 14, 2007
Mexican Chipotle Brownies
Mexican Chipotle Brownies
1 cup butter
1 cup flour
4 ounces unsweetened chocolate
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
3/4 teaspoon ground chipotle powder
4 eggs
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 teaspoon vanilla
Preheat oven to 325. Grease and flour a baking pan (you can use 11x7 or 9x13). In the top of a double boiler, melt the butter and unsweetened chocolate. Stir until smooth and combined then remove from heat. In a large mixing bowl, combine flour, sugar, cinnamon, and chipotle powder. Add the melted chocolate and butter to the flour mixture. Mix to combine. Add eggs and vanilla, mixing until smooth. Stir in chocolate chips. Pour mixture into prepared baking pan and bake until center is set, 35-40 minutes. Makes 24 servings.
LOLCATS
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Hello, Dolly!
Here's an example. The other day I asked her to clear her dishes and put them into the dishwasher. She had a plate and a bowl. They were on the island which is at the most four steps from the dishwasher. I kept an eye on the clock. It took her SEVEN MINUTES to complete this task. To say she gets distracted is like saying that Luciano Pavarotti gets hungry. First she flitted over to the calendar to see what was on it. When there was nothing specific marked for that day, she wanted to scrawl Have Fun on it. Then back to the island before pivoting over to the bulletin board to check the lunch menu for the week. She got the bowl into the dishwasher, then headed over to the guinea pig cage where much baby talk ensued. Then she chose her socks for the day, stopping to sing an operatic ode to her Favorite Socks (You are my Favorite Socks. I will wear you every day that you are clean. It doesn't matter if you don't match my outfit.). Finally she made it back to the island and......oh, Jesus. I am so sorry. I just realized that I am writing the blogging equivalent of Little Billy following the dotted lines in a Family Circus comic. Please find it in your hearts to forgive me.
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
The Onion
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Making An Example Out Of Him
When September 11th happened, we were living in a small town in North Carolina. At the time, David was four and Juliana was just a baby. I will never forget our family being in a grocery store a few days afterwards. As we worked our way through the store, people stared at us and conversations dropped off. There was a palpable feeling of distrust and accusation in their silence. It was unsettling to say the least.
Two weeks ago Ritu had to fly to San Diego to teach a course. It was just an overnight trip, so he only took a carry-on suitcase. In the Portland airport, he readied himself to go through security. As he waited in line for the conveyor belt, he took a couple of those gray bins and loaded them up with his shoes, his coat, his computer. Suddenly a TSA worker strode towards him and shot his hand into one of his bins. Ritu braced for whatever was coming next. The man held high the bag he had plucked from his belongings and started to speak loudly to the rest of the people waiting in line. "See this? This is how you do it, people. A quart-sized ziplock bag with your liquids and gels inside. None of them more than 3 ounces!" He waved it around a moment more like a test paper with an A+, then returned the bag to Ritu's bin, smiled at him, and wished him a good flight.
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Nature Vs. Nurture?
Here's a quick list of some of my latest, amazing accomplishments:
1. I picked up David's metal wastebasket to prepare for Roomba-ing and whacked my shin with it hard enough to leave a bruise.
2. I went to floss my teeth and somehow managed to gouge my chin with my thumbnail.
3. I knocked over a mostly full bottle of Lipton's Green Tea all over my kitchen floor.
Now, to understand a little bit about how I got to be the way I am, I'd like to share this email I got from my mother last week. It was entitled: My Day Thus Far At 1:00.
I really never stood a chance, did I?